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Current music:	Dear God.

Life is Beautiful. [3/3.]
Title: Life is Beautiful.
Author: trishapocalypse/causticmayhemx
Pairings: Ryan/ Brendon, Ryan/ William, William/ Travis.
Rating: PG13-NC17.
Words: 2440.
Summary: Ryan goes away to college, leaving Brendon worried and behind, while Ryan meets a very interesting librarian.
Disclaimer: It's not real. You're a fool if you think it is. =]
A/N: Title credit: The amazinglovelytalentedinspirational Nikki Sixx.

Part 01|Part 02

Life is Beautiful



Ryan's hands were shaking as he walked into the library a week later. It had been rather difficult to avoid William for a week but he had managed. He needed the time to think about the whole situation and he needed to call off the whole RyanWilliamTravis thing before he hurt Brendon even more. Ryan walked into the library with a purpose, steeling himself for the fight he knew William would put up-- He refused to back down on this one.

"William. We need to talk," he said, adamant.

William smiled. "Hey, freshman. Haven't seen your face for a few days. How've ya been?"

"Fine. I can't hang out with you and Travis anymore," he said.

"Okay," he shrugged.

Ryan paused. "O--Okay?"

"Oh, come on, Ryan. I know you don't mean it. We both know that."

"But I do mean it--"

"You do not," William said.

"I do--"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't love seeing my lips wrapped around your dick," William said, leaning over the desk.

Ryan flushed. "I--"

"Be at my place at eight tonight or I will come looking for you."

"But--" Ryan attempted to protest.

William smiled. "Honey, does it sound like I'm giving you a choice? Because I'm not. Be there."

****



"So I see you showed up on time," William said when he opened the door, smiling.

"Like you said, you didn't give me a choice," he retorted in a bitchy tone.

William laughed. "Be nice, gorgeous."

"Why? I told you that I couldn't do this because I didn't want to hurt Brendon, but you don't care."

William took one of Ryan's hands in his own. "You didn't have to come."

"You said you'd come find me if I didn't show up!" Ryan said.

"If you didn't want to come, you didn't have to."

"Fine. Then I'll leave," Ryan said, attempting to turn away.

William wouldn't let him. "Well, you're already here..." he smiled, pulling him against his chest. "Might as well make the best of it."

Ryan tried not to smile so he bit his lip. "I don't want to hurt Brendon..."

"So don't tell him," he said, leaning down and brushing their lips together. "Kay?"

"William..." he whispered. "Brendon--"

"Isn't here. Nor is he your boyfriend. You're allowed to have fun, right?"

Ryan nodded, eyes drifting shut as William's hands rubbed at the small of his back.

"So don't feel bad," he told him. "I mean, you do have fun with me, right?"

He nodded again.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "Travis is waiting in the bedroom. Let's go join him, okay?"

"Okay," Ryan said quietly, finding himself unable to protest, and he followed William into the apartment and back to his bedroom.

****



"Hey, Brendon."

Brendon crossed his arms. "How was studying last night?"

Ryan looked down.

"If you're going to lie to me, at least come up with a better lie than that," Brendon said.

Ryan sighed. "Can you let me explain?"

Brendon shrugged.

"Look, I really don't know what it is about William and Travis-- I swear I don't. I don't think when I'm near them and I do things I normally wouldn't do otherwise. I went there last night to tell him that it had to stop because I don't want to hurt you. But he just. He kissed me and," he sighed, "I stopped thinking. I'm shit, I know. You hate me, I understand. I'm sorry, I am."

He sighed. "Ryan... What is it about this guy?"

"I don't know, Brendon. I swear."

"I want to meet him."

Ryan froze. "What? Why?"

"I want to know what's so special about this guy," Brendon said.

"He's not special. He's just..." he sighed. "He's gorgeous. Disturbingly so. And I don't know what the hell he's doing with me-- He has a boyfriend, they've been together for years. He just wants to get me riled up. I promise you, Brendon, it's not going to happen again."

Brendon nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Do you believe me?"

"I do," Brendon said. "I just. It's gonna take a bit for me to trust you again, you know? If you say you're studying, are you really? That kind of thing," he shrugged.

"You can be with me while I study, if you want?"

Brendon laughed. "Oh, lovely. You know if I'm here while you're trying to study, no studying will get done."

Ryan smiled. "Maybe I'm okay with that."

"Maybe I am, too."

****



"Ryan, just give me two minutes."

"Travis, I'm late for my next class," Ryan said, shoving papers into his messenger bag while trying to hurry to class.

"It's just two minutes!"

"That's two more minutes of lateness that I will be," Ryan told him. "I don't like being late. I have nothing to say to you anyway."

Travis tried a different approach. "William feels like shit."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Oh. No? Really?" he asked, completely disinterested. "And whatever would he have to feel shitty about?"

"He thinks you hate him."

"Maybe I do."

"You don't."

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just pissed at him because neither one of you can accept 'no' as a fucking answer to join your weird...kinky...orgy-type relationship," Ryan ranted, ignoring the weird looks he got from people passing him by.

Travis scratched at his neck. "Actually, for it to be an orgy, one other person would have to join. I'd pick Gabe. What about you?"

Ryan groaned. "Leave me alone!"

"I don't think I will," Travis said, grabbing Ryan's arm to halt his movements. "Talk to William."

"Fuck off," Ryan spat, pulling his arm back and walking away quickly, but not quickly enough.

Travis grabbed his arm again. "Maybe I wasn't being clear. Talk to him now."

Ryan frowned. "No."

"I think you will," Travis said, pulling Ryan with him as he walked across the quad, finding William sitting on the smoker's bench. "Here he is."

"I hate you both."

"You do not," Travis repeated.

Ryan crossed his arms.

William stood up slowly. "You shouldn't sulk. You're much too cute for that."

"Shut up and talk, I refuse to miss all of my class because of you," Ryan said.

"I suggest that you stop with the attitude," William said quietly. "And I also suggest you answer my questions. What the hell is up with you?"

"You can't take no for an answer! I don't want to be part of this weird little threesome thing anymore. You're only doing it to make a fool out of me and you know, you know, that I have Brendon and you didn't even care. I told you no, you didn't accept it--"

"You didn't have to do a damn thing that you didn't want to," William said. "You could've left at any fucking time. Don't you dare blame us for your inability to step to the plate and leave when you want to!"

"Don't turn this around on me!" Ryan said. "You're the one who started this whole thing!"

"You're the one who wanted to get back at Brendon for everything!" William shouted.

"I--"

"Ryan?"

Ryan froze and turned, finding Brendon to his side. "Brendon?"

Brendon looked between the three of them. "What the hell is going on?"

"This is Brendon?" William asked, looking him up and down.

"Yes," Ryan answered, annoyed.

"Nice," William grinned.

"Don't give him that look!" Ryan said.

"What look?"

"The...glad eye."

Brendon stared Ryan down. "Is he telling the truth, Ryan?"

"About what?" Ryan asked stupidly, even though he knew what Brendon was saying.

"Did you only start fucking them--" he spat the word 'them' as if it were venom on his tongue, "--to get back at me? Because you were mad at me?"

Ryan sighed.

"I'll take that as a yes," Brendon said, turning around and walking down the sidewalk.

"Brendon!" Ryan ran after him, grabbing his shoulder lightly. "Look, I'll admit that's why it started. I was mad and I was hurt over everything you'd done. It wasn't even just you-- I was mad at myself, too. And I made a bad choice. I mean, he was wearing really tight pants. And I know that's not a defense, it's a shitty thing but. God, I don't know! I messed up so bad. But this is why I was trying to get through to him that this isn't what I want. This is," Ryan said, gesturing between the two of them. "I was putting a stop to it because I don't want to hurt you, Brendon. Can't you see that's why I'm so upset? The last thing I want is to hurt you," he said.

Brendon looked down. "You lied to me."

"I--"

"I lied to you, too," Brendon said.

Ryan paused. "Wait, what? You lied, too? To me? About what?" he asked.

Brendon said. "Wow, okay, I feel awkward now."

"What did you lie about?" Ryan repeated.

He sighed. "I just... I wanted to prove to myself that I could get you to beg for me back," he said slowly, quietly. "I wanted to prove that you could come running back to me."

"I didn't come running back-- You ran to me," Ryan corrected him.

Brendon rolled his eyes. "Whatever, okay?"

"So," he paused again. "So this whole thing was based on a lie? Your pride?" he shook his head. "You never wanted me, did you?"

Brendon looked down, not responding.

"This whole day is shit," Ryan mumbled, pushing past Brendon and walking out to his car. There was no way he was going to class after that.

****



The next day, Ryan dragged himself out of bed and to class. He wanted nothing more than to stay home and wallow in his own self-pity but that wasn't going to happen, especially not with midterms the following week. He forced himself to pay attention in class, he took his notes as studiously as always. When his classes were over, he walked into the commons and sat down in one of the plush chairs by the window, pulling out his notebook and pen. He was ten minutes into working on his assignment when he heard someone sit next to him. He looked up and saw William sitting there and he rolled his eyes.

"Just hear me out, okay?" William said quietly.

Ryan shrugged. "Why not. Everything else in my life is kind of ruined."

"I had no idea he was just going to show up and hear everything, Ryan," William said. "And I know you didn't either. I just thought that, with how you had talked about him, how much he had frustrated you, that you didn't care to be with me and Travis, you know? Had I known that you really care about him, I wouldn't have made you do that."

"I wish I didn't care about him," Ryan muttered. "All he ever does is fuck me over. I mean, how embarrassing is that? I was willing to give up anything for him when he only wanted me back to save his fucking pride," he laughed bitterly. "God, I'm an idiot."

"You are not," William said, reaching out and covering his hand with his own.

"I am," Ryan said. "I really am. I knew deep down in my stupid, ridiculous heart that something was off but no, no. I didn't listen to it because I'm an idiot. And here I was ruining something that I kind of really enjoyed for someone who didn't even want me. Not only am I an idiot, I am also pathetic."

William moved to sit on the arm of the chair, wrapping his arm around Ryan and pulling him close. "You are not, okay? Brendon's just an idiot. And he isn't even all that attractive, either," he said, smiling, causing Ryan to laugh slightly. "See? Smiling is good. Sulking doesn't work for you, freshman."

Ryan sighed. "He's probably gonna be at my house when I get home, begging for me to listen to him and take him back and blah blah, all that stupid bullshit."

"So don't go home. Stay with me and Travis tonight," he suggested.

Ryan send him a look.

"Nothing dirty, I promise," he smiled. "Unless. You're looking forward to the dirty?"

He laughed.

"You are! I knew it! You want my boyfriend's hot bod, don't you?"

Ryan shrugged. "Maybe I do."

William laughed. "Me, too, gorgeous. Let's gang bang him tonight."

"Should we invite Gabe?" he joked.

"Yes! Let's invite Gabe! He's Latin, he's good at the gang banging. I mean, the fact that he's Latin has nothing to do with the gang banging but you know what I mean," he said, smiling.

"I was. I was kidding. Are you really inviting Gabe?"

William shrugged. "Maybe yes. Maybe no."

Ryan smiled.

"He's hot, you know-- Gabe is. Tall."

"All of you are tall."

"You're tall."

"Not as tall as the two of you," Ryan said.

"Yes, we are giants..." William trailed off, shaking his head. "Okay, so you're coming home with me. You're not going to encounter the lying, deceitful Brendon, okay?"

Ryan nodded. "Okay. Do you work tonight?"

"Nope. Well, yes, but I'm calling in. Let's go."

****



Ryan lay on the bed that night, in between William and Gabe, Travis lying right next to William. They were all sleeping peacefully except for Ryan. He sat up slowly, carefully moving Gabe's arm from his waist. He crawled over him and out of bed, dragging on the hoodie that was closest to him and he stepped out of the room. He located his bag by the couch and he pulled his cell phone out of it, sitting on the floor in front of the window.

He opened up a new text message, typing it up quickly and sending it to Brendon. He set his phone aside and rubbed at his eyes in a pathetic attempt to stop any tears from falling before they actually formed in his eyes in the first place. He leaned back against the wall and he saw someone walk out of the bedroom. William smiled at him softly, rubbing at his eyes, and he walked over to Ryan, sitting down next to him again.

"You okay?"

He shook his head.

"Did tonight help at all?"

He nodded.

William kissed his cheek. "Don't cry over him. He's not worth it."

Ryan sighed. "He never loved me."

"Then he's a fool."

To: Brendon
From: Ryan

Message:
i love you. but you and i could never work out.
dont forget me plz<3

To: Ryan
From: Brendon

Message:
your right. we couldnt work.
its nice to kno you love me since i could never love you.





the end.

[x] Awh, it's over. And sad! It made me sad to write it. I'm glad I wrote this story as I rather liked it. The end might seem a bit off but I like it that way, personally. Anyway. Thank you all for the reading and the commenting, it made me really happy to see that people enjoyed it. I hope you liked the ending. And you all know, if you read my writing, I always have to have someone as the "bad guy," and since Spencer wasn't in this one, it had to be Brendon. I hope you all read my new story that will be up soon, it's a Siskeh Bizneh story. Now I gotta get; gotta get to class. Thank you so much. <3